OM IN THE CITY; Forgiveness has been a big topic in my inner circle for the past few weeks, but not forgiveness in the traditional sense of allowing yourself to let something go.  The forgivenss we’ve been working on is taking full responsibility for what happens in your life and then forgiving others for your needing them to play a role in your drama.  Hmm you ask, “Reverend Mo, are you saying there is drama in my life and I’m responsible?  What half-aware person doesn’t know that?”

Well, me for starters, at least I’m aware of my role in writing the drama, but until now my forgiveness has always revolved around my being in the position to judge my trespassers.  What I’m learning is there really is no one to judge but myself.. and what’s the point of that?

Here’s a one-minute meditation that I’ve been working on to help get me through the hassles of the day, I’ve found they work especially well when my boss calls to give me yet another impossible task, or when my husband calls to give me a list of ridiculous tasks or when anyone annoys me, which coincidentally is happening less and less these days. 

 Here’s the scenario: Someone is rude to you at the deli.  You have a few basic choices 1. be rude back 2. ignore them 3. be passive aggressive and rude to someone else or 4. forgive them. 

Lately I’ve been choosing the fourth option and here’s what I say in my head.  “I’m so sorry that I need you to be like this right now so that I can learn this lesson.”  Here’s the key:  every sticky situation we get into is a lesson and the lesson is always to learn forgiveness.  When we take ultimate responsibility for everything that happens to us and then work on forgiving others for ultimately just learning their lines, we can grow to be happier, healthier and just a little easier to be around.

When you get into a situation that presses your buttons I want you to stop take three deep breaths, visualize yourself in a state of calm and then repeat this magic phrase to yourself..”I am so sorry I need you to be this way right now so that I can learn to forgive you. I forgive you, I forgive you, I forgive you.”  Repeat this a few more times silently continuing to slowly inhale and exhale. 

Not only will you get yourself into a more mindful quiet state, you’ll begin to relax, your blood pressure can return to normal, and maybe you can even find the peace to offer a smile to your forgiveness partner at least long enough to order your lunch.