RELATIONSHIFTS: Who says women can’t get no satisfaction?

Anita Clayton and Robin Cantor-Cook, that’s who. In their new book, Satisfaction: Women, Sex and the Quest for Intimacy (Ballentine/Random House) they reveal this shocking finding that, gasp, hold breath, let it out and then hold chest in disbelief, lots of women have mediocre sex lives because women are trying too hard to have careers and lives and therefore they’re not staying home enough to get the sex they need to have the sex life they want. First of all, my mom was a stay at home mom, and while I can’t say how hard it is to “raise” children, I can say that it’s probably a heck of a lot more difficult then it is to do a myriad of other jobs. And that women who are home a lot are just as tired, especially if there are kids involved, then women who aren’t.

That being said, Anita Clayton and Robin Cantor-Cook that their book helps women to realize that if they want it, they deserve sexual satisfaction. Now for the bad news – while I’d like to believe that everyone loves sex, even I get bored every once in a while, and for a lot of women sex is never high on the priority list of things to get done on a regular basis. Especially since, in order to turn a lot of regular men on, women need to fluff, prep and pamper themselves, taking the time to trim, tuck and well, titillate. And we don’t ask men to do that for us, so having to do it for you becomes work, and more work means less time for fun. Now before I sound like a bah-humbug, I’m not, I’m totally into sprucing myself up for sex once in a while, but if in order not to have mediocre sex I need to do this more often, well then I’m out of luck.

I see an attractive man in a pair of (anything but white) boxer briefs and I’m good to go, while my boyfriend asks me to dress up in thigh highs, heels and a come fuck me negligee. I so rarely do this for him, even though I know I should, but I’m one of those overachievers, and I’m tired and when I want sex, I just want my sex. I’d probably get even more of the sex I want if I just took the time to turn him on in these little (albeit time consuming) ways. But I’m not lacking for sex.

People don’t have that much sex in general. That’s the truth. I mean when you first get together you have lots of sex, and spend lots of time doing it. But as time passes the sex starts to wax and wane, and wane and wane, and even if you’re doing it four times a week it’s a heck of a lot less than you were doing it in the beginning.
Here’s a quote I found from Clayton about her reasons for writing the book. 
”We need to change the belief system that is holding us back. We have incorporated the belief that beautiful people have the best sex.” Uhm, maybe you have incorporated that belief but I haven’t. Beautiful people just look the most beautiful having sex, which by nature is an awkward act to watch anyone doing.
Good sex comes from sharing an intimacy with your partner that goes beyond the bedroom (or wherever you have sex). Stress and family may limit the sex we have, but they aren’t the causes of mediocre sex because when we have sex, regardless of how often, its either going to be good, bad, so-so or well, boring. In fact, physical sex is just a part of sex because sex also happens in the mind (and not only in the genitals). Plus if my partner and I can’t find compatible times to get off, there’s always masturbation, and to me that’s definitely not mediocre sex.
So, what exactly is mediocre sex? Do I have to buy the book to find out? And is mediocre sex better than no sex at all? I’m not I’m sold on this one, but I’m not completely unsold yet either. And no, I don’t plan on buying the book anytime soon.