RELATIONSHIFTS:When I first read the phrase “to be feminine is to have a tight, well-toned vagina” I wanted to tighten my fingers around someone else’s tight, well-toned neck, preferably the someone who wrote the stupid fucking phrase in the first place. In a country where thin is always in and self esteem is, for a lot of women, lower than the “you must be this tall to ride” sign, it’s never a good time for some half wit to start spewing his stupid beliefs about what is and isn’t beautiful or feminine, when feminine is not for any one person, or website, to decide.
I hate that there are websites called the Vagina Institute and another for vagina enhancement, both subscription based services that provide women with what they describe as “the best insight” into their own vaginas, that tout mottos like small is beautiful, and encourage women to reclaim the vagina of their virginal youth. I can’t tell you what’s going on in the Vagina Institute because I will not chalk up the $17.95/month ($18.95 for the vagina enhancement site that will provide me with the secrets to non-surgical size reduction) so they can tell me how to fix my possibly imperfect vagina, even if I believe my birth canal is just fine, thank you very much. Perhaps whoever created the Vagina Institute has a really small penis and that’s why this “gender neutral” site is around in the first place. Oh, and I’ll let you in on what may be the vagina enhancement secret, it’s called kegel exercises, so there go spend you $18.95 on a new vibe for your vulva.
Of course you can still take the “how does my vagina measure up” quiz, and ask yourself does your vagina look “good and appealing,” or “ugly and unsightly.” Or you can just ask yourself, who thought up this question, and what is their problem? Okay I know that some women really do have problems with overly loose vaginas, especially after lots of childbirth, and that some women really do need to find a way to make their vagina’s tighter, but most women do not need to hear any of this trash talk from a site that has a self help book whose cover portrays a woman with an obviously warped boob job. Yes, a woman’s vagina does loosen up over time. It is after all a muscle and muscle’s need exercise in order to stay strong and in shape. That means it’s mui importante for women to do kegel exercises, just as it’s important for each and every woman to love the curves, folds and crevices that are our cunts. Now, once the love fest is over (and you better have spent at least a minute or two looking at and loving the vulva in your life even if it doesn’t belong to you) start your kegels, and do the exercises at least four times a week for the rest of your life.
To do your kegel exercises, sit on the toilet and pee, then stop the flow and start again, and do this until you know the muscles you’re using to make it all happen. And then, don’t do that again because it’s not good for you to stop your stream of urine all the time, but use those muscles, those pelvic floor muscles and hold in and release at least 100 times a day. If you can hold for three seconds each time, great, if not it’s still great that you’re doing the exercises. To make sure you’re working the right muscles, put a finger inside your vagina and squeeze. If you can feel the sensation of your finger getting sucked on, then you’re probably doing it right.
Kegels are great because the strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. They help you to not pee when you laugh or sneeze (it’s technically called incontinence). They can help a woman through childbirth and they definitely help you improve your orgasmic potential and therefore sex life. And yes men can do them too, although they won’t help him with through childbirth.
Again, some vaginas are larger than others, just like some penises are smaller than my middle finger, but that doesn’t mean I think he should find a way to plump his pinky dick up just so he can be more masculine. A penis does not make the man, so why should a vagina define the woman?
Posted by Jamye Waxman on March 18th, 2007 under Sexuality, Web. Comments: 24 | EMail This Post
Comments
Comment from Michael
Time: March 19, 2007, 10:16 am
Wow, I just found the site you wrote about and it has been a LONG time since I’ve seen such an offensive site on the Internet. Yes, the entire Internet! I mean, there’s gross, and then there’s THE HORROR. The Horror of seeing so many destructive and exploitative views and stereotypes so perfectly packaged with arrogance and stupidity. And then there’s the half-second where you hope against hope that it’s parody, but no. No it isn’t. Quackery and porn do NOT mix.
Comment from Brittany
Time: April 30, 2007, 9:42 pm
I have always felt uncomfortable with the shape of my vagina. Recently (as in tonight) I decided to try to “google” the different vagina shapes, well basically nothing useful popped up then I saw the website for the Vagina Institute. I can honestly say I feel about a million times worse than I did before I looked at that site. I never in all my wildest dreams would have thought that such a horrific site existed. I am truly disappointed that people would allow such a site to exist. It is basically saying, “if you dont have body image issues, come to our site and you will!!” I know there is nothing “wrong” with me, I did know that, but its pathetic that there are not any useful sites out there for young women, like me, who are self conscious about there vagina. Instead there is that ridiculous website. I know I have insecurities however, I would NEVER think of having any type of surgery or procedures etc down there, or well anywhere. That site needs to be taken off the internet because all it does is make girls who are looking for some reassurance that they ARE beautiful JUST THEY WAY THEY ARE down there, feel like they are disfigured. It also puts bad ideas in mens head. I agree with both of you. This site is beyond offensive. After finding your comments I feel much better that someone found the site just as appalling as I did.
Comment from Dionysios
Time: May 22, 2007, 5:16 am
Cool…
Comment from steve
Time: May 28, 2007, 5:50 am
No two flowers in the garden of life are the same , yet all are equaly beautifull in there expresion… Let’s face it , what is the diff between a rose and a weed ??? it’s simple - a foolish comparison and a judgment made by a limited conditioned unconcious veiw of life. It divides and seperates and blinds us from the real experience of beauty in the now. Behold the angels wings, the gateway to the mystery and beauty of creation in all it’s many splendid forms. The formless essence of SHE apearing in form/creation for this is she, “SHE” is love incarnate on earth. Let us all embrace her and let go of our ways of seperation that leads to war and famine on SHE- GAIA. …O’h beautifull woman - in essence you are one, and i love you just as you are right now.
Comment from Necole
Time: May 29, 2007, 10:28 am
I wonder why some people feel that they need to be the pussy police. That’s NOT what we need as women. I personally feel that you can thank porn (and I’m not against porn) for portraying and image that is supposed to be the “perfect looking” vagina. It’s widely know that the majority of them get labiaplasty which results in a vagina that looks like a 12 year olds.
We’re all different and beautiful in our own way.
Comment from Constantine
Time: June 5, 2007, 6:17 am
Cool…
Comment from Odysseas
Time: June 8, 2007, 2:38 pm
Cool!
Comment from Koinos
Time: June 10, 2007, 2:58 am
Nice
Comment from Milos
Time: June 11, 2007, 5:47 am
Sorry :(
Comment from Cletus
Time: June 13, 2007, 5:31 pm
Cool…
Comment from Marinos
Time: June 14, 2007, 11:24 am
Cool!
Comment from Manos
Time: June 15, 2007, 2:54 am
Nice!
Comment from Larry
Time: June 27, 2007, 1:36 am
I was about to leave a nasty response to what was writen untill I went to the above mentioned wesite. All vaginas are perfect in that they are all unique. That site is idiotic and it preys on the same insecurities of genitallia that men face. It really sucks that with all women have to deal with being expected to be perfect. Now this on there plate as well?
Comment from Marios
Time: July 9, 2007, 1:26 pm
Cool.
Comment from Fanos
Time: July 9, 2007, 4:47 pm
Sorry :(
Comment from Epameinondas
Time: July 9, 2007, 10:49 pm
Cool!
Comment from Pantelis
Time: July 10, 2007, 8:43 am
Cool!
Comment from Andreou
Time: July 10, 2007, 9:01 pm
interesting
Comment from Andreou
Time: July 10, 2007, 10:06 pm
Cool…
Comment from Tony
Time: September 5, 2007, 10:39 am
While this article is pretty good considering what it’s been said,I don’t think that using diminishing words like “cunt” help the reasoning side of the argument. Vagina and vulva
are more universally accepted words,we have to remember that kids can read these articles posted here,and they to find it “funny” and interesting,that the “vulgar” words they have been kept from learning are used in a generally loose way on this post. I can only “picture” a guy using a word like “cunt” to describe a vagina. Go figure!
Comment from michele
Time: January 5, 2009, 9:09 am
After reading some of the trash on the Vagina Institutes website, I find that I don’t even remotely fit into the category of the perfect vagina. Actually, according to the male preference criteria, mine is downright unattractive to men and I should never been able to have sex-even once! On the contrary, I have had great relationships and fantastic sex throughout my life and I never once had a man or woman refuse sex based on what my parts looked and actually have had all come back for more! I can see how someone young or with low self esteem could be lured into thinking something is wrong with them after reading the barbaric descriptions with supporting evidence from their “studies”-BS. When I was young and often wondered about my genital appearance, I came across a magazine article that reassured me I was ok. Its basis was that a woman is much more critical of her own self and finds little imperfections on herself that others don’t see or don’t consider flaws at all. It also reads that when a man has gotten to the point where he is physically present with a naked woman, the last thing on his mind is to be a critic. They are gracious for the opportunity to be with you.
Ladies- this is truth based and its based on my real life studies!
Comment from iopl
Time: January 6, 2009, 9:40 pm
Comment from steve
Time: May 28, 2007, 5:50 am
No two flowers in the garden of life are the same , yet all are equaly beautifull in there expresion… Let’s face it , what is the diff between a rose and a weed ???
Well the difference is that a weed is usually invasive and harmful to the ecosystem. It destroys native plants and removes diversity. Many Invasive plants “weeds” are toxic to the native wildlife and can not be used by native species in the ecosystem. Many invasive species will take over the habitat of native species and cause them all to die leaving only the invader. No, invasive species or “weeds” are a huge problem jackass.
Comment from kookimebux
Time: February 1, 2009, 11:37 am
Hello. And Bye. :)
Comment from dave
Time: March 27, 2010, 3:53 pm
Ms. Waxman, I would like to tell you that even though my involvement with women has been very limited, I have never seen an unattractive vagina. I have viewed alot of porn, both video and magazine, and would be pleased and honored to have been able to “participate” with the women I have lusted for. I don’t know about the web site of which you speak, and don’t care! A woman’s VAG. is a beautiful work of God’s art, and should be petted, stroked, and licked lovingly and frequently. That’s all I have to say about that!
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